My eldest sister is terminally ill. She has cronic brochinis and 85% of her lungs are gone. With 15% left, she is highly dependent on oxygen machine. My bro-in-law bought an air regulator kind of machine that actually takes in air and converts/filters into oxygen for her. This was her every use for the last one year or more but last Saturday, on my youngest girl's birthday, she deteriorates and the machine's capacity doesn't meet her needs anymore. With her body starving of oxygen, the family called an ambulance and took her to SMC that afternoon. I raced to Shah Alam on my own (I was out, just starting on my cake deco class, which I forego immediately), go lost when I reached section 19 because there were no signs of the hospital but go there I did with the help of my nephew. SMC was in sect 20, just next door.
Some parts of the hospital was under renovation, and one of it was the Emergency ward. The makeship ward was in a couple of 'containers', with a white 'arabian' tent as the waiting room. And their ICU was FULL ! Wah, ramai orang Shah Alam sakit kuat.... Anyway, since the ER doc says that my sis must be placed in an ICU immediately, the family decided to send her to HKL since its the weekend and IPR (Inst Perubatan Respiratori) at Jln Pahang doesn't accept patients during the weekends. Off we went to HKL in 2nd ambulance ride for her and my dear niece for the day. My 3rd sister and me went along in the ambulance. It took us 38 minutes flat to reach HKL, from Shah Alam, via the Federal Highway, Old Klang Road, Pantai Highway, Jalan Bangsar, Jalan Duta, finally Jalan Pahang... in heavy rain, in heavy afternoon Saturday traffic. My sister who sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, held to dear life all the way..........
But with my sister's 'nothing-that-anyone-can-do-anymore' condition, the docs at HKL refused to put her in the ICU but instead just put her in ordinary word with 51 other patients! In less than 5 minutes I got to know her new neighbour has been there for 3 days bcos of fever! My dear girl spent her birthday at the hospital, our plans to take her out for grand dinner had to be cancelled. Poor thing but she understood. She is 19 years old after all. A young adult already! We had a late late birthday supper in Kampung Baru after my sister was warded.
My dearest hubby left for KK on Sunday for a business trip, since Kak is more or less stable even if there's no improvement. Kak was brought home on Sunday (another ambulance ride), with huge gas cylinders accompanying her. Each cylinder costs RM400, each refills will cost RM300. Each cylinder will last 6 hours, in total, it will cost my bro-in-law something like RM1,200.00 per day just for oxygen. The ambulance cost about RM600 per trip. But I'm glad that she's out of the 'dormitory' ward anyway.
This morning, from home, I went straight to Shah Alam to catch her before the ambulance took her to IPR. I was sending my youngest daughter back to college anyway, and my 2nd daughter was also with us. She was going back to UiTM, so I brought her along. After the ambulance left, sent No #3 to MSU, then sent No #3 to Subang Jaya KTM station (her bus is at 1.45pm at Bukit Jalil) and I'm off to work. And today, is my eldest's son first day at work!
So, am I ready to accept the inevitable? NO.
No matter how much to try to prepare oneself, it is so difficult to let go.
I pray, I read the Yasin, I asks for God to forgive her sins, to forgive all our sins, to give her the easiest release when her time comes. I asks for God to not prolong her sufferings, to take her with dignity and that when it is her time, for her to go easily and to place her in Jannah. Dear God, she is tired, she is ready, even if we the family are not ready to let her go....
I love her.
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